Charting A Better New Normal
“The human brain is wired to favor routine over novelty, even if that routine is unhealthy.”
- Courtney Lopresti, M.S., of Sovereign Health.
5 steps to navigating a major change in 60-ish days
One thing that many people had to learn - and quickly - during the covid pandemic was how to navigate major change. Many of us have been stuck in an indefinite limbo - one with many silver linings, to be sure, but one of foiled plans, forced flexibility, awkward social dynamics, reworked priorities... One of the best ways to counteract it? Set up your own specific framework of goals—use this time to figure out how your life will move forward—with greater impact, fulfillment, and meaning.
Did you know it takes an average of 66 days to make a shift to your new normal?* 21 days, 28 days, 30 days… Have you ever done one of those plans, seen some results, then wondered why it was so hard to feel you’d made real progress - and maybe blamed yourself for the lack of lasting change? Turns out, it actually takes a little over two months, on average, for your big shift to feel organic.
If you’ve found yourself waiting for enough inspiration to strike before taking action, know this:
“Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.”
- Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
In other words, just do it.
Here are five simple steps towards a better new normal:
1. SET A BENCHMARK.
Think about 60-ish days from now. In your ideal world, where would you like things to be? Set yourself a clear, quantifiable, measurable benchmark. The more concrete it is, the more likely you are to achieve it. For example, rather than saying, “I’m going to be in better shape two months from now,” you might say, “I’ll spend the next 60 days doing physical activity 21 minutes per day (the amount of time necessary to reduce anxiety*, btw) from Monday-Saturday, and be ready to run a 5K (even if in my backyard) by the last week of Summer.”
2. BREAK DOWN TASKS INTO TINY, BITE-SIZE BITS:
Once again, this is about taking charge of what we can control in these times. And often we fail because we keep beating ourselves up for not doing “a” task- that is actually a multitude of tasks in one. For example, “I keep saying I’m going to develop a new product/service/program for my business, and not doing it.”
Rather than challenging yourself to develop a whole new thing at once, how about right now, you pause reading, set a timer for ten minutes, and brainstorm all the offerings you might undertake. Tomorrow, pick your top three, and spend a few minutes breaking down a timeline to launch. The next day, figure out a budget, or draft up a 3 question social-media survey to find out which may be most appealing to your clients. Yes, these may now feel too small. But you’ll do it, and your brain won’t reject it, the way it tends to do after we’ve taken on too much, too soon. And it works! Check out this article by Tasha Eurich. By the way, that break down counts as one. So you just made progress. Great job. Don’t you feel lighter and more energized already?
3. PUSH YOUR BOUNDARIES.
Astro Teller, head of Google X, talks about making things 10 times better, rather than 10% better. (Read his and other tips of success in one of Eric Barker’s brilliant newsletters.)
Think about that for a moment. How many times have you tried to take your current situation and improve it a little? I’ll get up five minutes earlier tomorrow. I’ll see if someone else can manage one of those meetings next week. I’ll watch two episodes instead of binging the series.
When you make a decision to make a situation 10 times better you’re forced to overhaul the system. To flip the dominant paradigm. What if you got up an hour earlier, threw on a party hat, and celebrated the rising sun? What if all meetings got halted for 30 days, to see which really matter, or, at a minimum, got renamed to ‘parties’ and required cake and streamers? What can you do to flip the whole script on your situation?
4. REWARD YOURSELF.
Yes, it can help us put our attention on the positive, and celebrate our small victories- especially now. But it’s also because our brains work very similarly to animals—if your mind knows you will receive a reward or positive reinforcement for taking a step towards your goals, it will reinforce those neural connections.
As Martha beck puts it, “ You're trying to apply an analytical approach. You put out a lofty goal and think you'll just keep striving, and the only motivation you need is this vague idea that one day you'll be fantastic. But to train an animal, you give high levels of reinforcement for very small moves. To train a killer whale to jump out of the water, you start by rewarding it just for coming to the surface.”
You don’t have to give yourself something physical (though chocolate ALWAYS works for me)—consider holding off something you love (fancy coffee, checking in with Facebook), until you’ve done your mini-action of the day.
5. GET SUPPORT.
Yup. Accountability. It works. Who do you generally turn to when we need support making a change? Did you say a partner? A parent? A best friend? So, let me break it to you. There are three reasons those are generally the worst people to turn to: One, they can’t help but see you through their (well-meaning) lens. Two, once you know how they feel, chances are you can’t help but let it influence you. Three, they don’t tend to be experts at whatever you’re pursuing…
So find someone who can be neutral- who will not have emotional influence but with whom you can share openly—a colleague? A cousin? An old college buddy? OR, a coach. Someone whose whole job is to be a sounding board and to share tools and resources for the ride.
Actually, I run small group coaching for just this reason- effective accountability, practical tools, and, perhaps best of all, solidarity. Think if might be what you’re seeking? Let’s talk.
Ready to get serious about using this time intentionally, to carve out a future of greater purpose and impact? If you're an professional making a major shift check out whether one on one or small group support, including our new theme-based groups for Artists & Writers, Spiritual Professionals, and Social Entrepreneurs might be a fit for you.www.wholelifesolutions.biz/services